I was rudely awakened by my flatmate’s sister mary having to little patience to wait 5 seconds for her sister, who was walking behind her, to open the door. So she banged my door as if some psycho murderer was after her.
Some parts of this post MAY be a tad esoteric. Then again, maybe not. And it doesn’t NECESSARILY (but may) reflect some of my genuine attitudes toward certain aspects of life in general.
And in the period of “awakening”, I weaved a perfectly plausible and entirely awesome scenario.
I think Law Lords have interesting surnames.
Lord Denning
Lord Templeman
Lord Scarman
Lord Hoffman (all 3 perhaps trying to instill some manhood into their ailing testosterone)
Lord Scott (that’s a name and not a surname in my book =) )
Lord Rodger (same as above)
Lord Bingham
You get my drift. Or maybe you don’t. doesn’t matter.
And as angela said, they get a kick from being respectful to each other.
“my noble and learned friend suggests that…”
“I find myself entirely in agreement with the opinion of my noble and learned friend”
“I don’t care if my noble and learned friend has a man shuving it up his arse, he is still my noble and learned friend”
So, these people write judgments varying in length. The lead judgment in each case is usually at least 2 pages, and can run up to 300 at times. They elucidate the common law, so to speak.
So in my scenario, all these Law Lords were relegated to Little Lords. They are little playdough thingies running around a room. About 10cm in height. And then there is a solitary Law Lord – Lord Lang of Langton Close- the Recondite One himself.
Now these Little Lords know nothing about morality and life, and are entirely inconsiderate to students. So the Law Lord struggles with himself to teach them notions of consideration (pun intended) and public policy (another pun intended).
“Now my little ones, you shan’t write long-winded judgments now k? grow up and be good people. Do good to the student community and not pile upon them excesses of information ok? And picturesque phrases such as “commingle the scared with the profane” or “anathema to the rule of law” or “judges and their brushes have been painting the picture of the common law since time immemorial” have no place in a judgment.”
-blank look-
aw shit. This is gonna take a long time.
“oh Recondite One. Please enlighten us”
“ok…let’s start with something simple. You noble and learned people are neither noble nor learned, so dispose with that phrase”
the next thing I knew, the Little Lords were engaged in some mass masturbational orgy using the “noble and learned friend” thingy as some kinda sick turn-on sex phrase.
A few advantages of having Yours Truly as the One and Only Law Lord
I will have no noble and learned friends.
I wouldn’t write judgments exceeding a page in length simply because I don’t know enough about the law.
I would decide everything in fairness. For example, if some guy’s wife fucked some other guy, I would deny her any form of alimony just on principle. And I would throw the other guy in jail and probably get some niggas to bust his ass with a blowtorch.
I would place all gays in some weird foster home establishment so they can be together, in an extremely closely BOUND community, outside of the public view.
If someone dug a pit and filled it with spikes and nasty things, and you fell into it, I would punish him for trespass to the person, as opposed to bloody negligence. I couldn’t care less about his intent as to whether he was trying to trap an animal or something else. He is probably a liar anyway.
I would make alcohol allowed to any person of any age. Same goes for porn and cigarettes and drugs and everything else fun.
I will build a PlayBoy Mansion right in the heart of London (Lewis you hear me?)
I will publicly shame girls who are mean to guys who pass them a bouquet of roses in front of everyone in the lecturer theatre, especially if she threw the flowers in the bin once she walked out of class.
And so on and so forth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
jiejie's moments (its just so her)
Shiying: “my friend’s boyfriend is damn weird”
Me “why whats wrong with him”
Shiying: “she says he has skeletons in his cupboard. I was like OHMAGAWD. Really ?!?!”
Haha. she thought he had a literal skeleton is his cupboard. Laugh it off people. I was pretty amused.
//////////////////////////////
Shiying "is maggies surname Foo?"
yan "as long as ive known her surname's been quek, i dont know her surname before she got married tho"
Shiying "oh. cuz in her her friendster she put maggiefoo. foo as in F-U-L-L"
.................................................
jie really ure such a lovable fool =)
Some parts of this post MAY be a tad esoteric. Then again, maybe not. And it doesn’t NECESSARILY (but may) reflect some of my genuine attitudes toward certain aspects of life in general.
And in the period of “awakening”, I weaved a perfectly plausible and entirely awesome scenario.
I think Law Lords have interesting surnames.
Lord Denning
Lord Templeman
Lord Scarman
Lord Hoffman (all 3 perhaps trying to instill some manhood into their ailing testosterone)
Lord Scott (that’s a name and not a surname in my book =) )
Lord Rodger (same as above)
Lord Bingham
You get my drift. Or maybe you don’t. doesn’t matter.
And as angela said, they get a kick from being respectful to each other.
“my noble and learned friend suggests that…”
“I find myself entirely in agreement with the opinion of my noble and learned friend”
“I don’t care if my noble and learned friend has a man shuving it up his arse, he is still my noble and learned friend”
So, these people write judgments varying in length. The lead judgment in each case is usually at least 2 pages, and can run up to 300 at times. They elucidate the common law, so to speak.
So in my scenario, all these Law Lords were relegated to Little Lords. They are little playdough thingies running around a room. About 10cm in height. And then there is a solitary Law Lord – Lord Lang of Langton Close- the Recondite One himself.
Now these Little Lords know nothing about morality and life, and are entirely inconsiderate to students. So the Law Lord struggles with himself to teach them notions of consideration (pun intended) and public policy (another pun intended).
“Now my little ones, you shan’t write long-winded judgments now k? grow up and be good people. Do good to the student community and not pile upon them excesses of information ok? And picturesque phrases such as “commingle the scared with the profane” or “anathema to the rule of law” or “judges and their brushes have been painting the picture of the common law since time immemorial” have no place in a judgment.”
-blank look-
aw shit. This is gonna take a long time.
“oh Recondite One. Please enlighten us”
“ok…let’s start with something simple. You noble and learned people are neither noble nor learned, so dispose with that phrase”
the next thing I knew, the Little Lords were engaged in some mass masturbational orgy using the “noble and learned friend” thingy as some kinda sick turn-on sex phrase.
A few advantages of having Yours Truly as the One and Only Law Lord
I will have no noble and learned friends.
I wouldn’t write judgments exceeding a page in length simply because I don’t know enough about the law.
I would decide everything in fairness. For example, if some guy’s wife fucked some other guy, I would deny her any form of alimony just on principle. And I would throw the other guy in jail and probably get some niggas to bust his ass with a blowtorch.
I would place all gays in some weird foster home establishment so they can be together, in an extremely closely BOUND community, outside of the public view.
If someone dug a pit and filled it with spikes and nasty things, and you fell into it, I would punish him for trespass to the person, as opposed to bloody negligence. I couldn’t care less about his intent as to whether he was trying to trap an animal or something else. He is probably a liar anyway.
I would make alcohol allowed to any person of any age. Same goes for porn and cigarettes and drugs and everything else fun.
I will build a PlayBoy Mansion right in the heart of London (Lewis you hear me?)
I will publicly shame girls who are mean to guys who pass them a bouquet of roses in front of everyone in the lecturer theatre, especially if she threw the flowers in the bin once she walked out of class.
And so on and so forth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
jiejie's moments (its just so her)
Shiying: “my friend’s boyfriend is damn weird”
Me “why whats wrong with him”
Shiying: “she says he has skeletons in his cupboard. I was like OHMAGAWD. Really ?!?!”
Haha. she thought he had a literal skeleton is his cupboard. Laugh it off people. I was pretty amused.
//////////////////////////////
Shiying "is maggies surname Foo?"
yan "as long as ive known her surname's been quek, i dont know her surname before she got married tho"
Shiying "oh. cuz in her her friendster she put maggiefoo. foo as in F-U-L-L"
.................................................
jie really ure such a lovable fool =)
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